Walking On Water
by domoforever
Summary: AU. Rin is furious at Haru, and he takes his rage out on him. He's violent, and Haru starts to loathe himself. Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei all try to help Haru, but they can't get him to talk without getting hurt. On top of that they're all trying to compete in the finals of a competition in one piece. PAIRS: Rin x Haru, slight Makoto x Haru. Rated M for smut, violence, and cursing.
1. A Hundred Reasons

**Author's Note:**

**I forgot to add this when I first posted it, but the cover picture of this story belongs to 'dreamxxdream' on deviantart! Go check out her artwork! It's seriously amazing!**

**Haru's POV:**

_I'm floating, drifting downwards. I'm surrounded by calm, by serenity. I'm alone in the silence, closing my eyes as I descend into the depths. I let out a sigh and watch several bubbles fade into the light above me. _

_Then the light disappears, and I can't breathe. My lungs start to burn, and my legs become a thousand times heavier as I try to swim towards the surface. I hit the bottom, and the sand starts to envelop my lifeless body._

"_Nanase?"_

"_Nanase-kun?"_

Startled, I open my eyes to see Miss Ama-chan looking down at me.

"Dreaming about water again?" She smiles as several of my classmates try to hide their giggling.

"...Yes..." I mumble, lowering my head slightly and breathing slowly, to make sure I still can.

She pats me on the shoulder. "Well school will be over soon enough, then you can swim all day long if you want to! The ocean's warm enough. But you'll need plenty of rest before your big competition at the complex next weekend!"

_The competition... Rin..._

I groan, putting my head in my hands. My head is pounding, and thinking about him isn't helping.

_I wish I didn't ever have to see Rin again... I can't stand him. Ever since he lost to me that winter, he's been acting so strange. He's gotten violent too. What did I ever do to him? Why did I deserve to be hated? _

_'_I can think of at least a hundred reasons.' __I hear his voice mocking me and try to calm my ragged breathing.

"Psst... Haru-chan." I hear a whisper from in front of me and look up. It's Makoto.

"What?" I whisper back.

"Are you okay? Look, I'm upset we have to see Rin-chan too, but you can't let it get you down! Everything will be fine!"

I meet his emerald eyes, staring into them.

_Fine? I doubt it. It'll be a miracle if things will be anything short of terrible! _

I shake my head, then turn to gaze out the window at the cherry blossom tree growing outside.

"...Haru?.." Makoto mumbles, and reaches his hand out to touch mine, but stops.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you. Please, Haru..." He chokes out. I barely hear him, and I see him bite his lip out of the corner of my eye. He reaches out farther, but pulls his hand back. I feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to do something.

I don't know how long passes. A minute or two I think. But I can't think of anything to say. He turns back around, but looks back at me a few times before giving up.

_I can tell that he feels guilty... But why? He's done nothing wrong. He's always there for me, always caring. I... I can't seem to ever do the same for him. It infuriates me. ___I___ infuriate me._

My eyes tear up as I think of how many times I've done this to him... Ignoring him, shutting him out.

_I'm the guilty one. I wish he saw that. I don't deserve a friend like him._

The bell rings and I quickly sling my backpack over my shoulders.

I walk past Makoto before he can question me, and keep walking until I'm out of the classroom and around the corner.

"Haru, Wait up!" I hear Makoto's footsteps getting closer, then try to find somewhere to hide. Anywhere. I just can't explain things to him right now. I need some air.

Right as I turn towards the exits, someone grabs my arm.

"Haru, talk to me, please!" Makoto is on the verge of tears, and I see the concern on his face.

"I can't."

"Why not?!" He's shouting now, and a couple people are staring at me.

"I just-" I don't know why I can't. I want to tell him everything. I want to be there for him, and I want him to know I trust him.

_But I choke up. _

_Saying I can't talk about my feelings is much easier than trying to make someone understand me._

I struggle to free my arm from his grip, but he's taller and stronger than me.

"Makoto, let go." I hiss at him.

_I can't stand it when he tries to fix me. I'm broken, I get it. I don't need him reminding me of it by trying to make me talk about my problems to him._

_I just have to get away from him. Away from everyone. I struggle again, tears in my eyes. _

"Haru, you've been acting weird for months! Ever since Rin came back from Austrailia, you've been isolating yourself. You won't open up to me anymore, you keep missing practice, you don't answer anyone's calls-"

"It's all my fault, okay! Are you happy now?!" I yell at him, ripping away from him and jogging down the hall. I look back and see him start to tear up.

Seeing him so upset crushes me. Tears spill over my eyelids and I pick up the pace, running into the bathroom. I get into a stall and lock it.

I punch the wall, crying out in pain.

_I don't know what's been going on with me lately, but the water isn't relaxing me anymore. Only pain makes my feeling go away for a while._

_I can't stop it. Every time I think about him, about what he's done to me, to my friends, I lose control. I get angry. Mostly at myself, because I don't want to hurt my friends, especially Makoto..._

_Shit, what have I done? I curse at myself and lower my aching fist._

I look down at my blood, and wipe away the blood on the wall with my sleeve. I walk out of the stall and turn on the sink, then I hear the door open.

"Oh my god, Haru! What did you do?!" Makoto gasps and runs over to me, seeing my tears and bloody fist.

He starts crying harder. "I'm so, so sorry Haru-chan." He grabs my hand and puts it under the sink, flinching as I curse at the pain.

He turns off the water, grabbing a paper towel to wipe the blood off and wrap my hand.

He stands there, looking at my hand.

I pull him into a hug, not knowing what else to do, and I hold him until we both are calmed down.

When I step back, I stare into his eyes. He looks back, his eyes filled with pain and sadness.

"I-I did this?" Makoto sniffles, looking at my hand.

"...No..." I whisper, "You didn't do anything wrong I promise. I just-"

He pulls me into him, shaking as he grips the back of my shirt.

"Please, please don't do this anymore...I can't stand seeing you like this. And it's all because of... him."


	2. Black Clouds

**Note: **

**Thank you all so much, I'm glad you guys are enjoying it so far! 3 I'm definitely going to continue this story, and I will make it fairly long. **

**Feel free to leave any criticism in the review section, it would help to know if I'm doing anything you dislike with my writing. Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for the support so far! **

**Rin's POV:**

Flashback:

I inhale the cool spring air and let out a shaky breath. Looking up at the cherry blossoms, happy memories of friendship and laughter begin to fill my mind. I quickly shake off the thoughts and bite my lip. I wonder if they'll want to know I'm back, if Haru wants to know I'm back...

_What am I thinking? Why do I care what he thinks? We weren't that close... _

End.

_Well we weren't. I don't give a shit what he thinks, and I certainly don't care that we're not close anymore. Actually, I hope I never see his stupid, arrogant face ever again. _

_I know I'll have to though. I wouldn't care if it was just anywhere I have to see him, but I have to see him in competition. That's the one place where I'm comfortable, where no one can judge me for me, just for my swimming. _

_For him to just swim against me, knowing I don't want him there, not caring at all, and still beating me.. It infuriates me! Every time I see him I feel that defeat again. The one I've felt for years. He never apologized. I hate his guts. _

_He doesn't care about me at all. I just... I want him to. _

_What the hell? No, I don't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm thinking about Haru more, even though I hate him._

_I have no idea why I keep feeling so... jealous. _

_Why should I feel jealous of him? He's better at swimming than me, but that's not why I feel this way. _

_I-I just get this feeling around him, when he's around certain people, that I want to be there instead of them. _

_I don't understand... _

"Matsuoka-senpai?" I hear a voice behind me and turn, seeing Nitori.

"What?" I reply, frustrated with my thoughts.

"Well, um, I was wondering if maybe we could talk for a minute." He's scratching the back of his head.

"Uh, I guess. What do you want to talk about Nitori?" I sigh.

He smiles but looks down at his shoes.

"I-I wanted to know how you stay so motivated... to swim, and be the best you can be. I've tried everything, but I can't seem to stay on top of my game. I get so distracted sometimes and I-" He trails off, clearly embarrassed.

"You have to believe in yourself. Don't focus on anything but yourself. It sounds stupid, because anyone's natural thinking is to focus on the competition, on winning. Or, to focus on impressing someone."

I pause, looking at him. He looks up at me and blushes.

"But don't. If all you're worried about is other people, you'll never be good enough for yourself. If you are, _then_ you can focus on strengthening yourself. Just... try not to worry about things too much. If you do it will go to hell. Trust me..." I bite my lip and look down.

"T-Thank you senpai, I'll try to do that." Nitori says, and I can tell his spirits are lifted.

"You can do whatever you set your mind to Nitori. You have lots of potential." I put a hand on his shoulder and force a smile, trying to hide my self frustration and hypocritical advice.

"I have to get going. See you at the dorm Nitori." I fake a smile again, but my eyes are screaming for help. For anyone to notice, to tell me I'll be okay.

"O-okay. Bye Matsuoka-senpai!" He smiles and walks off in the other direction.

_I don't see why I feel the need to be comforted. I haven't needed to be helped before and I don't need to be helped now. _

_I wonder if anyone would help me anyway. I don't see why anyone would, if they knew me. _

_I'm terrible, arrogant, violent, and helpless._

_Oh well. _

I put my headphones in and start walking. I inhale the ocean's aroma, wishing I could swim in it forever.

I look at my watch.

_4:30. Huh, earlier than I thought. Nitori won't miss me if I'm gone for a night.._

I linger in the sand, enjoying the lukewarm sand between my toes. I walk over to a boardwalk and kick off my shoes, fumbling to take my socks off with my toes. I take off my sweatshirt, shirt, and jeans, looking down at my underwear. Normally I wear my swimsuit underneath my clothes, but I needed to wash them.

_Hopefully when they're wet they aren't transparent._

My cheeks flush at the thought of anyone seeing me, practically naked and soaking wet.

I dismiss the thought, diving into the water. Coldness surrounds me, and I try to escape it, swimming upwards.

_At least it's not as cold as it is in the winter._

I cough and struggle to catch my breath when I make it to the surface.

_It didn't look that deep from the dock. I walked what, twenty or thirty feet out on the boardwalk. _

_Doesn't seem that far out..._

I'm kicked out of my thoughts by a severe cramp in my side.

_Fuck! Ow!_

As I breathe through my nose, I close my eyes and let myself float through the water.

_I hope this cramp goes away soon, I want to swim._

I listen to the seagulls screeching, my legs tingling from the cold.

My cramp subsides and I open my eyes, relieved. The sun is starting to set, and I start to swim through the depths.

I don't go fast, or try to practice at all. I just _swim._ My mind relaxes, as I forget about Haru, about the competition.

My arms are getting tired, it feels like I've been swimming for at least an hour. So I float on my back again, completely at ease.

The ocean is so peaceful. If you lay there, looking at the sky, it feels like you don't even exist. It feels like you're just there, nothing. It feels good. Nothing to hurt you, to worry you. Because you don't matter. It's the best feeling in the world.

The water surrounds you, so you're not alone.

It's so serene.

I'm awakened from my bliss by suffocation.

A wave surrounds me, throwing me around. I get sucked under it, and my mind begins to panic.

I start to thrash about, trying to somehow get back up to the surface. As soon as I get a breath of air I'm pulled under again, this time with more force.

When I catch another breath of air, I look up at the sky, trying to see if it's storming.

The sky is gray, but it's not storming...yet.

I can make out heavy, black clouds rolling in on the horizon.

As I try to swim back towards the shore, I get pulled into a vortex of endless waves. Each one seeming to pull me further away from the shore.

_Shit, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna fucking die. _

I can't tell if my eyes are filled with tears or ocean water as I start to sink into the water again.

My lungs, muscles, and mind are screaming. And I'm pretty sure I'm screaming too.


	3. Change In Repitition

**Haru's POV:**

_I hope Makoto isn't still upset because of what I did earlier. He really doesn't deserve to be upset. And I need him to realize that I'm fine. I don't need anyone's help, anyone's pity. _

_But I'm not fine. I'm constantly afraid... Afraid that Rin will show up and make everything go to shit. I hate him, more than I ever thought I'd be able to hate anyone. _

_And I guess that's wrong. No one deserves to be hated. Even if what they're doing is wrong. Because everyone has a good side to them, but sometimes it's impossible to get them to bring it back out. _

_He's just being cynical. I can tell from the way he looks at me. _

_He thinks I'm only interested in defeating him. And I know he thinks that me not caring is just an act. It's what pisses him off. I get that at least. I've tried not to come across to him that way, but I can't help that he's insecure._

_I know he'll never believe me, but I only swim because I have to swim. Water's in my blood. Maybe not technically, but still. _

_It keeps me sane. _

_Yeah right. Me, sane? Not in a million years._

I chuckle and run my hands through my hair as I walk on the gravel by the road.

_The ocean's pretty close to here... I hope it's warm enough to swim. I really need something to calm me down. _

_Well, I hope it calms me down..._

I look up towards the sky and see huge, black clouds in the distance.

_Fuck. Guess I'm not swimming today._

I walk past the boardwalk, into the water. It looks so peaceful. But it looks too rough to swim in, definitely.

Then I hear it.

I hear someone yelling, screaming. I whip my head around, trying to find who's in danger. No one.

It stops. I run up to the road, looking to see if anyone is nearby.

No one...

_Where did that come from? I hope they're okay. _

Then I hear it again, quieter this time.

_It sounds like they're being cut off. _

_From what?_

I start to panic. I'm running, looking for anyone. The screaming... it sounded like they were about to die. I stop, out of breath. My legs are shaking. I inhale deeply, listening for anything.

I hear the person yelling again, but they say something.

"I'm sorry!" It's coming from towards the boardwalk.

_I'd recognize that voice anywhere._

_Rin._

"Rin! Where are you?!" I scream as loud as I can, running back toward ocean. I'm looking around. I can hear him, I'm not crazy.

_But where is he? _

I see a small flash of a hand, out in the water.

"RIN!" I'm sprinting, flinging off my clothes. I trip over a rock, and realize I'm crying.

_Get yourself together Haru! Stop being so pathetic for fuck's sake._

I strip until I'm down to my underwear, then I run out onto the boardwalk and dive in.

Swimming as fast as I can, I search around everywhere.

_Where is he? Goddamn it where the fuck is he?!_

I hear him yelling again.

"Haru!" He sounds at least a hundred feet out.

I panic, going as fast as my body will let me. I swim underneath the waves, coming up for air.

I see him... his face is red with a tint of blue, he's shaking, desperate for air. He gets battered by wave after wave.

"Rin!" I scream at him.

I swim under another wave, panting when I get back up.

I look up, trying to find Rin, hoping he's there.

_Why hasn't he come up yet? _

"RIN!" I start screaming again.

I hear him coughing loudly a few feet away. I finally manage to reach him and grab his arm.

I start to pull him, struggling to swim back towards the shore. His arm keeps slipping, and I'm getting irritated.

"Rin, for god's sake hold on to my arm!" I look over my shoulder to see him unconscious.

"Rin! Answer me damn it!" I can hear the panic in my voice as I try to swim faster, desperate to get out of this hell.

I feel Rin start to slip off of my shoulder, and no matter how hard I try to keep him up he just keeps sinking.

I squint, salt water blinding me, and make out the shore.

_It's only a hundred feet at most... _

_We're almost there Rin. _

I grab his arm tighter, knowing he'll have bruises later, and continue swimming, despite my body fighting against me.

–-

I collapse on the sand, wheezing up salt water and blood. I look over to Rin, who's face is a pale blue.

_He's not breathing..._

It takes me a moment to process this, and I crawl over to him, pressing my ear to his chest. Nothing.

I lift his head back and open his mouth, leaning down again. Still nothing...

I can barely check his pulse because my hands are shaking so badly.

Giving him CPR, I begin counting out the rhythm in my head. I pause, then lean down and puff a large amount of air into his mouth.

_Damn you Rin, why won't you breathe._

I repeat the process several times, checking for any pulse or breathing.

Nothing.

Tears start to stream down my face as I continue giving him CPR.

"HELP! ANYONE PLEASE! I NEED AN AMBULANCE!" I scream at the top of my lungs, making me go into a coughing fit.

I sniffle and check for a pulse.

_*Boom... Boom Boom*_

_Oh thank god. _

I lean down and breathe slowly into his mouth.

Rin gasps and starts coughing like he's coughing up his lungs. He rolls over, spitting out tons of salt water. He gaps for air, then looks up at me.

"Haru?" He asks weakly.

"Rin..." I pull him into a hug, but he pushes me away.

"I don't want your help!" He yells.

"Well if it wasn't for me you'd be dead!" I yell back, starting to cry again.

"Why couldn't you just let me die?! It's not like I don't deserve to!" He stares at me, shaking with anger.

_There were so many times where I wished he was dead..._

I stare back at him, full of resentment and guilt.

"I-I'm sorry..." I whisper, I'm not sure if I said it to him or to myself.

His anger fades, and for a second it seems like he looks sorry too.

He sits up, gazing into the ocean.

"You don't deserve to die Rin... No one does. I promise." I say it very quietly, afraid he might hurt me.

"How could you say that? After all I've done to you? All those times I beat you up, threatened you, hurt you..." He trails off, watching the clouds swallow the sun whole.

"I deserve to be dead. You should have sat there and watched me die, Haru."

I start to shake again, my heart shattering all over again.

I begin to quietly sob.

_Silenced cries for help, endless bruises I had to hide from my friends, the constant, vomit-inducing fear. And worse, how he made me feel._

_I'm still not sure if I deserve what he's done to me or not. _

_But I know I'm worthless because of him. That I hate myself because of him. _

_I'm weak, helpless, insecure, and hopelessly in love with him..._

_I hate that I love him. I don't want to. But something about him makes me overlook everything he's done to me..._

I put my head in my hands and scream.

A few minutes pass, and I look up to see Rin staring at me, wide-eyed.

"Haru..." He reaches out to touch my shoulder.

His beautiful ruby eyes are all I can focus on as the world starts to spin.


	4. Alone?

**Note:**

**Thank you all for the follows and reviews! It really means a lot to me, and I'm so happy the story is turning out well! **

**Anyway, enjoy! I'll keep updating as fast as I can! **

**Rin's POV:**

I sit in the sand, watching the ocean and the sky darken.

_I saw it. heaven. Or, at least it felt like heaven. It could just as easily have been hell. Or purgatory. I have no idea. But I'm positive I was dead. _

_I felt surrounded by calm, and I could see him trying to revive me. I begged for him to stop, for him to let me be at peace. _

_I yelled for him to let me go. _

"_Haru! Stop! I don't want this! Just let me die for god's sake!"_

_I put my hand on his shoulder, even though I don't think he felt it. _

_Then he leaned down and gave me breath. I started to fade, and then I woke up. _

_Wherever I was headed, it didn't seem any worse than life. _

I hear Haru's muffled screaming, and whip my head around to look at him. He has his head in his hands, shaking and sobbing.

I stare at him for several minutes, not sure of what to say.

_Should I try to comfort him? Does he want me to? _

_I doubt it. Not that I want to anyway, he's my enemy. That's all he is..._

"Haru..."

He looks up at me, into my eyes, then passes out with a groan.

"Haru? Haru wake up!"

_Fuck. _

I start shaking his shoulders, starting to worry.

_Maybe he's just exhausted. _

_Yeah, that's it. He did have to swim a long way, and help me get back too... _

_At least he's breathing normally. _

I sit beside him for a couple hours, checking to make sure he's still breathing every few minutes. I hear thunder close by, then the rain starts to pour. I'm soaked in two minutes. I sigh and lay Haru on his side so he doesn't drown while I go to get my clothes. And his...

I walk towards the boardwalk, picking up Haru's rain soaked clothes. When I get everything, I wrap it all inside of my sweatshirt. I pick up Haru, heaving him over my shoulder. I walk up the bank, then walk along the side of the road towards Haru's house.

_This has got to look pretty weird. _

_A soaked, basically naked teenage boy carrying an unconscious, almost naked teenage boy over his shoulder on the side of the road in the rain._

_I hope no one thinks I murdered him or something._

I walk up to Haru's front door, and turn the door knob.

_Locked. Of course. _

I sigh, my shoulder starting to ache.

_Haru, stop being so heavy._

I set him down for a couple minutes, to check if he's okay again and stretch my shoulder. I pick him up again, but carry him bridal style. It hurts my shoulders less. I start to walk to Makoto's house, not wanting to have to explain this to him. Or see him for that matter.

The rain's getting heavier, and I almost slip on a staircase five times. I set Haru down, still holding his torso up and putting his arm over my shoulder. I knock on Makoto's door, realizing how cold I am from the rain.

He opens the door. "Rin? What are you doing here? What happened to Haru?!" He pulls us both inside and shuts the door.

"Long story." I reply lightly and chuckle.

"Rin, what happened to Haru-chan? And why are you guys only in your underwear?" He gets a towel and I help dry us both off as I explain.

"Well, I was swimming in the ocean alone. I thought I wasn't that far from the shore, but when I looked back towards it I was at least two hundred feet out. I started to get hit with waves, and I panicked. I got sucked under by one. That turned into an endless cycle, and I was all alone, about to die..."

I look at Makoto, then at Haru, who was laying on the couch.

"I started screaming for help whenever I could get back to the surface, and Haru saw me. He swam out and grabbed me before I passed out. When I woke up, he had been giving me CPR... Then he passed out and I carried him back here. I'm only in my underwear because I didn't have my swimsuit."

I start to shiver and look at my sweatshirt on the floor.

"Hey Makoto?"

"Yeah?" He looks up at me, then at Haru with a worried look.

I toss him the sweatshirt. "Our clothes are wrapped up in that. I picked them up off the boardwalk. Can you dry those?"

"Um, sure. I'll go put them in the dryer. And I'll bring you some clothes to wear while they're drying." He walks off, looking back at me.

I walk over to his couch and sit beside Haru, who's lightly sleeping, hair all over his face. I reach over and tuck his hair behind his ear.

I pull my hand back quickly as Makoto walks in.

"Here, it's just sweats and a t-shirt, if that's okay. And I have clothes for Haru-chan too. I hope he won't mind too much if we put clothes on him." He laughs and throws the clothes to me. He walks into another room and

"Thanks." I stand up and slip on the shirt, then the pants. I lean down and look at Haru, who's shivering.

I slide one leg of the sweat pants over Haru's leg, then the other. I slide them up, lifting him up slightly to pull them all the way up. I prop a pillow behind him and put the shirt over him, struggling to put his arms into the sleeves.

Makoto walks in with two cups of hot tea. "Need some help with that?"

"I got it." I say quietly. I reach under the shirt and grab his arm lightly, putting through the sleeve, then I do the same with the other and pull the shirt down. "There."

He hands me the cup of tea and takes a sip out of his. "It's chamomile."

I take a sip of mine and look at Haru resting.

"So, um.. why were you swimming in the ocean alone?" He whispers, watching me.

"I needed a break."

"From what?"

"None of your business." I glare at him and set the tea down.

"Okay, sorry..." He takes another sip. "Do you know why Haru passed out?"

"I don't know. He seemed pretty exhausted though..." I trail off, thinking about when he was screaming with his head in his hand.

"Rin..." I look over, seeing Haru fluttering his eyes open. Makoto sets his tea down and runs over to him.

"Haru-chan, are you alright?" He puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I think so. How did I get here?" He stares at me, confused.

Makoto looks at him. "Rin carried you here. He tried to take you to your house, but your front door was locked."

"Oh." He continues staring at me, and I look away from him, drinking the tea. I look outside and see it's still raining pretty hard.

"The clothes should be dry soon. Your shoes might still be wet though." Makoto stands up, walking out.

"I'm sorry I passed out." Haru sits up and touches my shoulder. "Thanks."

"You're really heavy Haru." I take another sip of tea.

"Can I have a sip? I'm still really cold." He looks at me.

"Sure." I hand him the tea cup as Makoto walks back in with the clothes. Haru takes a big sip and sets it down.

Makoto hands us the clothes. "Here. They're still kind of wet.. But you can just wear my clothes and give them back later."

"Thank you." Haru says quietly, clearing his throat repeatedly.

"Are you okay Haru-chan?" Makoto looks at him, concern written into his emerald eyes.

_God. He treats Haru like his kid or something. _

I look at both of them then stand up. "I'm going home." I walk towards the door.

"Rin, you shouldn't walk too far outside. It's raining pretty hard and you could catch a cold. And isn't your dorm a few_ miles_ away?" Makoto turns and stares at me.

"I'll be okay. And thanks. You too Haru." I open the door and look back, seeing Haru's cheeks getting red.

"Are you sure Rin? You guys could stay here tonight, there's plenty of room." He glimpses at me nervously.

I gaze into the downpour, contemplating if walking was worth it or not. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Fine. I'll stay. But I'm not staying because I want to, I'm staying because I don't want to get wet again."

I shut the door and throw my clothes on a chair by the entrance. I glance at Haru, who's shifting around uncomfortably on the couch. Makoto notices this too and pipes up. "Why don't we play video games or watch a movie?"

"Movie." Haru and I both say in unison.

"What kind?"

"Scary." I say quietly, walking over to sit beside Haru.

"Okay, I've got The Grudge 1-3, The Last Exorcism, and 1408."

"The Grudge first." Haru says, sipping the tea again. I nod.

Makoto grabs the movie and puts it in, turning the lights off and walking out to get popcorn while the previews play. I gaze at Haru, hoping he's not too upset that I'm here. He glances at me, then blushes.

"Do I have something on my face?" He whispers, biting his lip.

"No..." I blush and look down. "I'm sorry."

"I know."


	5. Soft

**Note:**

**Sorry I couldn't update sooner, I've been taking exams and I've been having some writers block. Anyways, enjoy the story! I hope you like it, there will be fluff and slight smut! o.o**

**WARNING: Slight non-con. I'm really sorry if this is triggering in any way, I'm not trying to do that at all, I'm just adding more angst.**

**Haru's POV:**

Makoto leaves the room to get popcorn, so Rin and I are sitting in silence as the previews start. I glance at him, seeing him stare at me. "Do I have something on my face?" I whisper.

"No..." He turns away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

My face turns red and I look down at my hands.

_I know he's not sorry for staring at me, he's really sorry... for everything. I guess he just needed an excuse to say it. _

"I know." I say, hoping he actually is sorry.

He looks up at me. "Haru, I..."

"So, has the movie started yet?" Makoto walks in, holding a large bag of popcorn. He sets it on the table, glancing between Rin and I. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. I'll be right back." Rin says quietly. He stands up and walks out of the room.

A pale girl in a night gown is on the screen. Her hair is covering her face, she's groaning, and she's clawing at the screen. I start to feel uneasy at the sight.

_I love scary movies. They give me such a rush. I love the adrenaline. I love anything with adrenaline. Roller coasters, competition. _

_Thrills remind me that I'm still alive. It's so easy to forget it sometimes. Especially when I isolate myself. When I'm in the water, alone, in silence, I'm not alive. I just exist. It's a beautiful feeling. _

I smile slightly, feeling nostalgic.

Rin walks back into the room and sits beside me, picking up the remote to hit play.

"When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage, a curse is born. The curse gathers in that place of death. Those who encounter it will be consumed by its fury."

Ominous music plays in the background, and starting to feel nervous, I pick at my nails. Rin glances over at me and scoffs. "Scared?"

"No. Why would I be?" I bite my lip, trying to distract myself from the movie. I've always been afraid of ghosts and spirits.

_Just part of the thrill of being scared. _

Even though I chose to watch it, I don't want to. It's only fun when you're alone, it makes it so much scarier. I look above the screen at a wall clock, focusing on it.

_Okay, only 90 minutes left, you can do this Haru. _

I turn slightly to look at Rin and Makoto.

_They both look fine. They're not scared at all. I really must be a wimp._

I hear the little boy meowing and I start to shiver.

_I don't understand, why is he doing that? It's so creepy. _

I can feel a cold sweat developing on my neck and face, and I divert my eyes from the movie. Makoto gets up, stretching and popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth. "I'll get us more tea and popcorn."

Rin looks over at me, smiling. He leans towards me and whispers into my ear. "Are you still scared?"

I gulp and nod slightly.

"Don't be." He lays his head on my shoulder and rubs my back slowly. He goes in circles, humming into my shoulder. I start to relax, breathing out a sigh of relief. I intertwine our fingers and rub his hand with my thumb. A minute or so goes by and he sits up, scratching his head. He stares into my eyes and smirks. "You're hands are cold."

"S-sorry." I stutter, looking down at the floor. He puts two fingers under my chin and lifts up my head.

"I don't mind." He squeezes my hand gently and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Why are you being so nice?" I whisper, closing my eyes.

"I want to." He says softly, and starts to hum again.

The microwave starts to beep, and I sit up quickly. Rin sits up too, removing his hand from mine. Makoto walks in holding a small tray with three filled tea cups and another bag of popcorn. "What'd I miss?" He smiles and sits down.

"Not much. Just stuff with the police investigating the murders." He crosses his arms and yawns.

"Oh, okay." Makoto grins and grabs a handful of popcorn.

I reach over Rin, purposefully brushing against his legs as I grab some popcorn. I lean back, throwing a piece into the air and catching it with my tongue. I glance at Rin, who's hiding a smile. I start to watch the movie again, jumping when the grudge appears again.

I peek over at Makoto, who's engrossed in the movie. I slowly reach up to Rin's crossed arms and nudge him. He looks at me, then back at the movie. I poke him again, then rub the side of his hand. His cheeks get red, and he reaches his hand down and holds mine. We hide our hands behind a pillow, and continue to watch the movie. Every time something scary happens, he squeezes my hand. He rubs my hand with his thumb and I wish Makoto wasn't in the room so we could cuddle.

When the movie's over, Makoto yawns and stands up. We separate our hands quickly, and thankfully he doesn't notice anything. He throws away the empty popcorn bags, and turns off the television. "So, um, I have a guest bed and the couch. You guys can sleep there if that's alright."

"Yeah." I say quietly. Rin nods his head.

"Okay. Well, goodnight. You guys can use the shower if you want." He yawns again and walks into his room, closing the door.

Rin stretches and stands up, holding his hand out towards me. I take it, letting him help me up.

He leans in and kisses my cheek. My face turns bright red, and I pull him into a hug. He holds me and nuzzles his head in my neck. I grip the back of his shirt and close my eyes. After a couple minutes, we both pull back and hold hands.

"Do you want to sleep in the guest bedroom or on the couch?" I say, yawning.

"Couch."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," He looks around, "Where are the blankets?"

I walk into the hallway, open a closet and pull out a few blankets. I walk back to the couch and to hand them to Rin, but he pulls me down onto the couch. I drop the blankets on the floor and look down at Rin. He's blushing, and I realize it's because I'm straddling him. He reaches up and brushes some of my hair behind my ear. I blush and do the same for him.

Smiling, he leans up and kisses my cheek again. Pulling back, he bites his lip and looks into my eyes, begging for more. My heart is pounding, and I stare at his beautiful face, seeing a small scar above his eye. Probably from a fight.

_I wish he wouldn't do that... I care about him so much. I wonder if he feels the same..._

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him sweetly.

_His lips are so soft..._

He hesitates and stiffens, but soon relaxes into the kiss. He kisses me back gently, slowly sitting up. He wraps my legs around him and fists his hands into my hair. He pulls back for a moment for air, and looks into my eyes.

Gazing into his mesmerizing eyes, I can't help but smile.

"Haru..." I cut him off with a more passionate kiss, hands on his waist and shoulder. I press into him, moving faster. He matches my pace, pulling my hair harder. He bites my bottom lip and I gasp. He licks my bottom lip, then enters my mouth slowly with his tongue. I really don't mind, considering he tastes like tea. I'm not sure what to do, but I move my tongue anyway, hoping I'm doing this right.

He groans softly, and I can feel his skin getting hotter. I grin, pulling away to look at him. His face is a beautiful shade of red, matching his eyes. I smile as I start kissing beside his mouth, working my way down his jaw. Each kiss I place on his skin is soft and short, and I start to blush doing it.

I get down to his neck and stop moving. I keep kissing, slow at first, then harsher. I softly start to suck on his soft skin, hearing his muffled moans. He's covering his mouth with his hand, trying not to make any noise. I giggle and continue sucking. I see a small purple mark developing on him, then kiss back up to his mouth. He takes one of his hands out of my hair and reaches up to feel his neck.

"Ow, Haru!" He pulls back slightly, interrupting my trail of kisses.

I grin and pull my best innocent face. "What?" I bat my eyes at him, making him laugh. He makes sure my legs are around his waist and puts his hands under my legs to hold me as he stands up slowly. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss him softly. "Am I too heavy? I can walk now you know."

He looks into my eyes and smirks. "I don't mind."

My face turns bright red again, and he chuckles.

"You're adorable when you're blushing, Haru." He whispers as we pass Makoto's room. He quietly slides the guest room door open and sets me down. He turns around to close it, and I wrap my arms around his chest, nuzzling into his back. He chuckles, then turns around to hug me. As we embrace, I take in everything about him at this moment. His smell, his face, his hair, his eyes, his arms, everything.

When we pull apart slightly, he leans down and kisses my neck slowly. Agonizingly slowly. I bite my lip as he starts to gently nip at my collarbone. A small moan escapes my mouth and I hear Rin chuckling. "S-shut up!" I whisper yell at him, closing my eyes. He continues biting my collarbone, and starts to suck as well. He starts to growl, nipping at me again. I moan, strangely turned on.

He pushes me lightly onto the floor, straddling me. He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head, leaning down to hover over my face.

He smiles at me, then kisses me hungrily. He immediately uses tongue, biting and sucking at my lip aggressively. His grip on my wrists get tighter. I try to move my hands down a bit, since my shoulders hurt, but he's too strong. He pulls away for air, and I whisper to him. "Rin, mind loosening me? It kind of hurts."

His eyebrows scrunch up, but he doesn't. "No. I'm going to get you back for giving me a hickey." He continues kissing me, and bites my lip harder, drawing blood.

"Mmph! Ri-" I try to ask him to stop but he won't let up. I start to struggle, kicking my legs and trying to move my arms. He sits up slightly to move his legs. He wraps his around mine, making me unable to move my legs.

_Shit! Stop, Rin! _

Tears escape my eyes, and I start to panic.

He pulls his mouth away, and I start to gasp for air. I can taste the blood in my mouth, and I feel like I can't breathe. Like I'm drowning. He starts sucking and biting my neck, and I moan involuntarily. He takes both of my hands into one of his and starts unbuttoning my shirt.

_What if this is what his plan was? Make me fall in love with him, then use me. To have control over me. Fuck. _

I stop struggling and start to cry. I let out a small whimper, and start sniffling.

_Please stop. Please._

Rin looks up, seeing the tears, and immediately lets go of my arms and legs. "Haru? Are you okay?"

I sit up and wipe the blood from my mouth. He sees the blood and his face goes completely white. "I-I... Haru, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He reaches out to hug me. When he embraces me, I panic.

"Let go! Please, let go! Stop Rin, STOP!" I yell at him and push him away. He stares at me, stunned.

"I-"

"Haru! Are you okay?!" Makoto runs in, half asleep, and stares at us in shock. He looks down at us. Tears are streaming down my face, I'm shaking, I have hickeys on my neck, my shirt's unbuttoned, Rin is half sitting on me, there's bite marks on my lips and some blood too. And there are hand prints and bruises on my wrists.

Makoto looks between us, his face twisting into anger. "RIN! What did you do to Haru?!" He balls his hands into fists, and his eyes seem to turn a darker shade of green.

Rin backs up from me quickly, his face still blank. "I didn't mean to hurt him.." He barely says it in a whisper.

I can't stop shaking as I try to rub the pain from my wrists. Makoto runs over and picks up Rin by his shirt, backing him up to the wall. He shoves him into it, and Rin doesn't even flinch. Rin just stares at me, his eyes showing hurt. Makoto shoves him into the wall again. "How could you?!" He screams at Rin, punching him in the mouth.

He swings again, hitting his eye. I hear Rin whisper, "I'm sorry." before Makoto hits him in the stomach. I sit and wipe the tears away from my eyes as they pour down. I look up to see Rin's mood change after he was hit twice more.

He looks furious now.


	6. Ruined

**Note:**

**Again, sorry these are taking so long to upload. But I hope you enjoyed it! I apologize for any spelling or gramatical mistakes I've had so far. And any critiques are appreciated!**

**Rin's POV:**

I watch Haru cry as I'm being hit by Makoto.

_I hurt him... I hurt Haru._

_He seemed to be enjoying it. I guess not. _

He's still rubbing his wrists where I was holding him, and he's shaking crazily.

_I can't believe it. Did I do that to him?_

I take a blow to the stomach but I don't flinch. Makoto hits me again, first in the side then in the face. I see Haru looking up at me, and the pain in his eyes crushes me.

_I hate that I hurt yo_u _Haru_. _I'm so, so sorry._

With tears in my eyes, I glare at Makoto, hoping he'll back off.

_I don't want to fight him. I can do that at the competition. _

He brings his fist up to hit me again, and I grab it, twisting it around. He yelps in pain, and I use the leverage to push him to his knees. I shove him to the ground and look at Haru, pleading for forgiveness with my eyes. He looks terrified, and I know it's too late. I cough, wiping some of the blood off of my lips.

_He'll never forgive me, I'm a monster._

I walk out of the room and glance behind me to see Makoto getting up and helping Haru to his feet. He's shaking, and trying to get the blood off of his knuckles. I get to the couch and grab my damp clothes, quickly changing into them. I head towards the front door and see Makoto coming into the living room.

"Rin."

I ignore him and open the door. I turn slightly to close it, but Makoto grabs it. I spit the blood in my mouth at the ground and start to walk away. "RIN."

I hear the door slam and turn around. I try to hold back the tears as I stare at Makoto. "W-what?" My voice cracks and I can't hold back the tears any more.

Makoto gazes at me, and he looks almost pitiful. He walks towards me, but stops a few feet away. "Rin, why..." He trails off, looking down.

Breathing in and out through my nose slowly, I try to get the terrible pounding in my head to stop.

He steps forward, clenching his fists.

I back up slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I don't need to explain myself to you. This is between me and Haru. Back off."

"If you ever hurt Haru again, I'll kill you." He stares into my eyes and balls his fists. I can see him shake from anger. We stare at each other in silence, unable to speak.

I hear thunder close by, and start walking towards the road. I start to shake violently and fall to my knees. I vomit, the disgust of what happened eating at my mind.

_Why? Why did I do that? Why did I kiss him? Why did I start that wonderful, horrible thing. _

I throw up until all that comes up is stomach acid. My throat is burning, and I scream. A ragged, muffled sound comes out, and I can't stop screaming at the ground. I wipe my mouth with my shirt and stand up. Walking again, I think about what I did.

I feel a sharp pain in my chest, unsure if it's just emotional or if it's a physical pain.

_Probably both. _

Looking over my shoulder, I see Makoto's door open. Haru is standing there, being taken back inside by Makoto. He's staring at me, and saying something. I can't make it out.

All I can do as the door closes is try not to pass out.

_Rin, pull yourself together. Give him time, then find a way to apologize. And make him believe it. _

_Yeah, I can do that. But how? _

My mind is spinning, and I can't get away from Makoto's house fast enough. I sprint for at least a mile, then collapse on my hands and knees, gasping for breath. Tears block my vision, and my throat is killing me. The gravel is digging into my knees and palms. I pick the gravel out of my hands, wiping them on a patch of wet grass beside me.

Lightning suddenly strikes a few feet away from me, and the thunder is deafening. I yelp and frantically crawl backwards. There's a ringing in my ears, silencing everything else.

It happens again, not much further away from the first. I stagger backwards, slipping on the grass. My head hits the ground, and everything hurts. My face, stomach, knees, hands, back, and head are all in pain.

_I wish I cared._

I stare up at the black sky, watching the rain pour down at me. I have to tilt my head to the side and cover my head with my arms to keep the water out of my eyes and nose. I hear muffled thunder close by, and I think my hearing is coming back.

_I wish I was dead. I deserve to be. _

I see bright flashes of light beside me, yet I don't flinch. I close my eyes, suddenly irritated.

_Did I leave my iPod at the beach? Fuck. It's ruined anyway._

I smile, unsure of why that's my concern right now. The ringing in my ears slowly fades. I stand up, despite all of my tired muscles begging me to rest. My knees are shaking, and I feel my head pounding again.

Walking, agonizingly slowly, I make my way back to my dorm. I trip several times, because I'm not paying attention to the ground, and it takes me longer each time to get up. I get inside, and look at the clock in the entrance hallway.

_2:30._

I keep walking, and push the elevator button. A minute passes before the elevator arrives. It dings quietly and I step in. I push the little silver button that reads '15' and slump against the wall. When the door opens, I stumble towards my room. The hallway is starting to move, I'm sure of it. I try to walk straight but my vision is blurring. The floor is swaying from side to side, and I feel like vomiting again. I fall into my door with a thud, searching my pockets for my keys.

_Gone. Great. _

I pound on the door, stopping when I hear the lock click open. I'm breathing in and out heavily, resiting the urge to vomit. Nitori is in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah?" He yawns, then looks up at me. "Matsuoka-senpai!" He pulls me in carefully, shutting the door. He sits me down on my bed, and stands beside me. "Why are you soaked? Are you okay? What happened?" His light blue eyes stare towards me with concern.

I start to cry softly, shivering at the coldness of the room. Nitori sits beside me, and hesitantly reaches his hand out. He touches my shoulder softly. I don't push him away either, I can't. But... I don't want to. I let him touch my shoulder, and I stop crying. I sit up slowly, and he puts his arm down. He tries to stand up, but I grab his wrist.

"No..." I whisper. His face turns red, and he sits back down. I lay my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. I sigh, the sick feeling in my stomach returning. I groan softly, clutching my stomach. He pulls back and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Senpai?" He whispers. I look up at him and shake my head. He stands up slowly, helping me lay down. He leaves the room, coming back with a cold washcloth and a heating pad. He extends the items towards me, but before I can take them a sharp pain clutches in my stomach. I sit up, wrapping my arms around my sides and groaning loudly.

"It h-hurts..." I stutter.

"It'll be okay Matsuoka-senpai, don't you worry!" He makes me lay back down, then places the cold washcloth on my forehead. He lifts up my shirt slightly to put the heating pad on my stomach. He pulls a blanket over me, then puts his hand on my shoulder. "I hope you'll feel better soon. I'll be right back, I need to go get you some pain medicine." He opens the door and leaves.

I lift the blanket over my head, hoping the warm air I'm suffocating in will make the pain stop.

I hear a faint ringing and sit up. Nitori left his phone on the kitchen counter. The ringing stops. I pull off the blanket, letting the heating pad and washcloth fall onto the bed. I swing my feet onto the floor, stepping lightly on the tiles. The phone is flashing, saying '1 new voice mail'.

_Who would be calling Nitori so late at night?_

Giving into my curiosity, I pick up the phone and listen to the message.

"_Hi, Nitori. Listen... we need to talk, about our plan. I... don't think I can go through with it. And I know you can't either. Look, I know what he's done, but it's really none of my business. I can't do that to Rin, despite everything that's happened between him and Haru. He may deserve a lot of things, but he doesn't deserve this. Please... just consider backing out. And besides, I haven't even known him for that long. I don't see why you guys decided to do this. Whatever happens, I won't be responsible for this. And I know this wasn't your idea, but you can't really be thinking of doing this! He would never forgive us! …Just meet me at the park at noon tomorrow, please." Click._

I quickly delete the message and lay back down.

_Nitori... What are you involved in?_

_I guess there's only one way to find out._

Noon tomorrow...


	7. In Shock

**Note: **

**I know the last chapter was a bit short, but I'm going to try to make the rest of the chapters longer. **

**But I hope you enjoy them anyway! I appreciate all of the support with this story. **

****WARNING: I'm sorry if this is triggering for anyone who's been bullied or abused.****

**Haru's POV:**

I sob quietly and rub my wrists, wanting Makoto to stop hitting Rin.

I look up at Rin, and he's pleading with his eyes. I can see him start to tear up, and he glares at Makoto. He grabs Makoto's fist before he can punch him again, and twists his arm around. Makoto yelps and I stop shaking. My eyes widen. I want to stop him, but I can't make my legs move.

Rin pushes Makoto to the ground and looks at me again. I open my mouth, but no words come out. He wipes some of the blood off of his lips and walks out of the room. Makoto stands up slowly, cringing when he moves his shoulder. He stands beside me and takes my hands, helping me up. I button up my shirt and stare at the bruises on my wrists. Makoto pulls me into a hug, shaking slightly.

"Will you be okay?" He pulls back to look into my eyes. I stare at him and stay silent. "Haru..."

I lower my head, ashamed that Makoto saw what had happened. "How will I be able to swim?" I whisper.

Makoto looks confused, and I pull down my collar, pointing to the hickeys. I see a flicker of anger in his emerald eyes again, and he steps towards the door. "Wait here." He leaves, and I hear the door opening and then Makoto is calling Rin's name. I take a deep breath and leave the bedroom. I walk into the living room to see Makoto walking after Rin and slamming the door. I flinch at the sound of it, and at the silence that follows.

I can hear voices outside, and I slowly walk towards the door. I reach out to the doorknob, but hesitate.

_What if they're fighting again? _

I close my eyes and open the door slightly. Tears threaten to spill over again at what I see. Rin is crying, clutching at his head. Makoto has his hands balled up into fists, shaking from anger. Thunder sounds in the distance, and I watch as Rin turns to leave, but falls to his knees. I gasp quietly and step outside. He starts vomiting. Then I hear it again.

His screams. Tears well up in my eyes, and I blink, trying to stop them to no avail. I begin sobbing again, and I look up to see Makoto staring back at me. "I thought I told you to wait inside..." He whispers. I step forward, looking over Makoto's shoulder at Rin. He's standing up, walking towards the road again. He turns around, and I reach out towards him, but Makoto grabs my wrist.

I flinch and he lets go, but starts to pull me back inside.

I feel a sharp pain in my chest and look up at Makoto. "I need to talk to him. Please, Makoto!" He doesn't listen, and continues to pull me in anyway. I stare at Rin, trying to push past Makoto. "Rin..." The last thing I see before the door closes is Rin's face go white. Makoto holds me back as I try to get past him. "Makoto! Let me go, I have to talk to him!"

"No, Haru.. He'll only hurt you." He stares into my eyes, wiping my tears away with his sleeve. He backs up, letting go of me. He locks the door, then sets his keys in his pocket. It takes all of my will-power not to sneak the keys away from him somehow. I watch Rin through the window, stumbling away. I can feel the crushing pain in my chest again, and I have to turn away. I try to focus on anything else, so I walk over to the couch and grab my clothes. I go into the bathroom and start changing.

My hands are still shaking as I try to unbutton my shirt. A flashback of earlier hits me, and I can't do it. I just stand there, unable to breathe. I end up just slipping the shirt over my head. I can't bring myself to look in the mirror.

_I don't want to see. _

Thank god my shirt is long sleeved. I put it on, then change into my pants and socks. I turn to leave, but I can't move my feet. I slide down the wall and curl up on the floor.

_I can't believe it almost happened again._

I bury my head in my arms, not wanting my childhood to catch up with me again. I hear a small knock on the door. "Haru-chan? Are you alright? You've been in there for a while..." I don't answer. I stare at the wall, the memories flooding my mind. I start screaming, clutching at my hair.

_I can't take this anymore. _

Makoto opens the door instantly, kneeling down in front of me. "I'm so sorry this happened Haru-chan." He reaches and puts a hand on my shoulder. I smack it away.

"It was your fault..." I whisper.

"But... I didn't know Rin was planning on doing that, I swear! I would never let anyone hurt you, Haru!" He looks strange.

I stand up, and walk out of the bathroom. "Maybe it wasn't your fault this time, but..." I trail off, leaving a confused Makoto behind me.

"...This time?"

I turn my head slowly, clenching my fists. I look into his eyes for a moment, absorbing his confusion. I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming out in frustration.

_He doesn't know. I tried to tell him a thousand times. I showed all of the signs. He never noticed. _

I look away from him and walk towards the front door. Makoto comes up behind me, grabbing my shoulder lightly. "Haru-chan... What do you mean, 'this time'?" I spin around, staring at him, then the floor. "Haru, has Rin... done this before?"

I shake my head slightly. "It... was someone else." He pulls me into an embrace.

"I-I'm so sorry Haru-chan. Who was it? When did it happen?"

I don't return the hug, I just continued to stare at the ground. I don't say anything for several minutes, trying to compose myself. I can't do it, but I finally take a deep breath. Makoto let's go of me, but keeps a hand on my shoulder. I look him straight in the eye. "It happened in middle school." He takes a deep breath.

"I... I'm not sure exactly who, or why. I just remember our fight, then you left. I was so upset I forgot to lock the door. He came in, stole some stuff. I tried to hide, but I accidentally knocked over something so he heard me... He walked into my room and got what he wanted... I don't remember the details, but I know what happened. And I remember that it was your fault! Y-you left me alone! YOU LEFT! YOU LEFT AND LET H-HIM HURT ME! He... told me it was fun so he came back again and again. I kept the door locked, but he would find a way in anyway. I tried to leave, to get away from that house so he couldn't find me, but no matter where I went he followed me. I even saw him outside of school once."

I'm sobbing again, struggling to get the words out. His hand falls and he drops to his knees. He's sobbing too, whispering countless apologies. Seeing him breaking apart infuriates me.

"I DON'T WANT YOUR POINTLESS APOLOGIES MAKOTO!" I curl up my fists again, shaking from anger. Then I start to whisper. "You want to know something? Do you want to know why Rin hates me so much?"

He looks up at me, his face blotchy and twisted up. "It's because I'm a 'victim.' That's how he saw it. Maybe I am, but I don't care anymore. Back then, I didn't understand what had happened. It took me a while, but I finally figured out why that night upset me so much. Then I was depressed. He noticed. But he knew my home life, and compared to his, I had no reason to ever be upset. His picking on me made my depression worse. I felt worthless, because I had 'no reason' to be sad, even though sadness was all I could feel. He made me regret my feelings, making me regret myself. He just assumed I was making my life worse than it was for no reason. It fueled his anger."

I stared down at his face, which is wide in shock.

"If you didn't leave me that night, I would have never been raped that night, or the many other nights. And I wouldn't have been bullied by Rin. If you were there that night, we could have fought him. For years, I've tried to look past it. I ignored the fact that the chain of terrible events occurring in my life were because of your mistake, but I can't anymore. It may seem unfair, that I'm blaming you for other people's actions. But I can't help the way I feel. And I feel like it's your fault. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't feel this way, I really do. I know you've been one of my only friends for years, and I don't want to change that. But, I do want you to know why I've been quiet for so long. It's because if I spoke I wouldn't be of any use anymore. It's because this exact thing would happen. It's because anyone who finds out will treat me like the victim. I didn't want you to know, but you wanted me to open up to you, and now I have."

He's crying harder, his heart-wrenching sobs echoing throughout the room.

"This doesn't change the past. Nothing can. So don't try to fix it. Don't try to fix me. Eventually I can let go of this. I had for a long time, but Rin doing that made these feelings come back. I'm sorry I had to tell you this, I really am."

I lean down to help him up, and I can't help but feel as though I'm being passive-aggressive towards him. I turn back towards the door and reach for the doorknob, then I remember it's locked. I walk over, reaching into Makoto's front pockets without looking at him. I pull the keys out and unlock the door. I toss them onto the couch. I turn back to look at Makoto, but I can't. I leave, shutting the door behind me.

It's pouring, again. I walk back to my house, then find the spare key I have hidden outside. I unlock the door, making sure the dead-bolt is locked when I close the door.

I check the clock on my wall.

_1:59._

I sigh and grab my blinking phone off of my coffee table, flipping it open.

_1 new message._

I press play and lift the phone to my ear.

"_Hello Nanase. Hmm... Or should I just call you Haru? I guess it doesn't matter. Let me guess, you're wondering how I know your last name, how I got your number. Details, details. Those little things don't matter. Listen, I know what you did tonight. I know you told. And I still remember you. It was quite easy to find where you live, who are your friends... But, if you think I forgot about you, I'd just like to tell you you're wrong. Didn't I tell you to stay quiet? I'm quite sure I did. I remember telling you every time to stay quiet, or else. Don't you remember me telling you that?.. Speaking of... don't you remember how much fun that was? I do. And I also remember how much different you looked then. That's beside the point. I just wanted you to know... that I've been watching you for quite a while now. Why, you ask? Well, after you finally moved away from me, I was sad. I was bored. I eventually forgot about you, but then I saw your name pop up on the TV, about a swimming tournament. I was surprised that you were still in town. And since you didn't really leave, I guess you missed me too. We're going to have so much fun together, Haru! Bye."_

I drop the phone and scream at the top of my lungs until I can't breathe. I fall to my hands and knees, hyperventilating. I scream again and start to sob uncontrollably. I feel my throat start to burn and my stomach churning. I get up quickly, running into the bathroom. I barely reach the toilet as I start to vomit. I throw up until there's nothing left in my stomach, then I wash my mouth out. As I stumble out of the bathroom, the world starts to wobble. My vision blurs, and as I'm about to lose consciousness, I wish Rin was here.


	8. Unconscious

**Note:**

**Yeah, all this dramatic-ness will make sense soon, I promise! Anyway, enjoy it!**

**Rin's POV:**

Laying on my bed, I stare up at the ceiling with a bad feeling in my stomach. I stare at the clock on the wall.

_3:07._

I turn my head towards the window, watching the downpour outside. I bite the inside of my cheek, then sit up. I reach over to my alarm clock, setting it to go off at 11:45, then lay back down. I breathe in slowly, trying to calm the uneasiness in my mind. I close my eyes, waiting for the darkness to embrace me.

...

The incesant beeping wakes me, and I groan. It stops, and I open my eyes. Nitori is standing beside my nightstand, with a somewhat nervous look engraved on his innocent face.

"Are you alright Nitori?" I sit up, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. He shifts on his feet repeatedly before he answers.

"Yes...I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

"'Kay." I stand, stretching my arms. I grab clothes out of my dresser and quickly change in the bathroom. I see myself in the mirror and a pang of guilt hits me again. I try to ignore it as I go towards the front door.

"Matsuoka-senpai! You should stay in bed today, you were in pretty bad shape last night." I turn my head, glaring at him. He lowers his head as I go to leave.

...

I arrive at the park, and I look around at the people here. I don't see anyone I know, then I see a blue-haired teen with red glasses on a bench.

_Rei..._

I walk up to him slowly, and he's completely oblivious to me. He's just staring down at his hands, picking at one of his nails. I sit next to him, and when he looks up at me, he can't do anything but stare at me.

"R-Rin, uh, what are you doing here?" I stare into his eyes menacingly.

"I heard the message you left for Nitori...What are you planning with him?"

He looks terrified and tries to stand up, but I grab his wrist and pull him down. "I'm not mad...yet. Just tell me what you were talking about on the phone."

He breathes out shakily, then closes his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry Rin."

I let go of his wrist.

"Nitori said I owed him a favor, which I do, and that I had to repay it. I wasn't against it, because a favor's a favor. After he made me promise to do it, he told me what it was I had to be a part of. I've tried to talk myself out of this a hundred times, but whenever I mention it Nitori gets this look of terror on his face. Then he just says, 'We have to. We have to.' He said we have to set you up for something, so that you'll get caught and be gone. That way, you 'won't be in the way'. I've tried to ask him what, but he wouldn't tell me. He just told me I had to lie and be a 'witness' to it, whatever that means."

He's staring at me, his blue eyes a slightly different shade than Haru's. "So...he's going to frame me for a crime and send me to jail?" I ball up my fists.

_Why? This doesn't make sense. Nitori would never do something like this to me or anyone else. He's so kind and innocent. _

"Well yeah. But, like I said in the message, it wasn't his idea. He wouldn't tell me who's making us do this, but he said if we don't, 'he' will hurt us."

I stand up and walk back towards my dorm, ignoring Rei calling to me.

...

I open the door, and Nitori is sitting on my bed. I sit next to him and grab his wrist hard. He flinches and tries to wrench his hand free. "What's wrong with you? Let go of me senpai!" I meet his stare.

"Who's threatening you Nitori?"

He pulls harder on his hand, a panicked look on his face. "No one, I swear. Why are you asking me that?"

I repeat the question without hesitation. He seems surprised by this, and stops pulling on his hand.

"I'm not really sure."

My gaze widens. "What do you mean?"

"He was waiting outside the dorm, and he stopped me when I tried to go inside. He told me that 'all of Haru's and Rin's friends are in on it, so that it's believable when we're questioned by the police.' Then he threatened to hurt Haru and kill us if we didn't go through with it. Then he told me the plan to frame you."

"...Haru?"

"Yeah." Nitori looks down as he says this.

"But...why does he want me to go to jail?"

"He said that it would be so you would leave Haru alone. Because he's 'the only one who can have him'. Then he said if we reported this to the police or told you or Haru, he would kill us."

I let go of his wrist and stare at him in shock.

"Nitori, what is he going to frame me for?" He starts crying.

"I don't know. But it's something really, really bad. I could tell by how serious he was. I don't know what to do. If something happens, and I have to lie and say you did it, I'll be betraying you. But if I tell the truth and say it was him, I don't know what he would do to me." He's sobbing, his head in his hands. I hold him until he stops, then I pull him up by his arm.

"Come on, we're going to the police." He stops in his tracks. I look down at him, seeing how terrified he looks.

"I-I can't."

"Yes you can. All you have to do is tell the police officers what he said to you, and tell them what he looked like. Then get all of the other people to back it up. They'll find him before anything bad will happen, I promise."

He starts walking again.

...

_Nitori's been in the interrogation room for a long time._

I hear a door open and look up to see Rei and Nagisa. They see me and look scared. I get up and walk towards them.

"Where's Makoto? Is he a part of this too?"

Rei shakes his head lightly. "No, but I'm not sure why he's not, as he's the closest friends Haru has."

It all clicks in my mind and I run out the door.

...

I bang on Makoto's door for several minutes. He's not answering, and I start to freak out. I run around to the side of his house and break open a window. I climb inside, then run into the living room. Makoto is laying on the floor in a pool of blood. He's clutching his side, struggling to breathe without coughing. I run over to him, and roll him on his opposite side so he can't choke.

"Makoto! What happened?!" I reach for his phone and dial 911. I tell the dispatcher the address and what happened, then hang up.

He looks up at me, his face slowly going white. "Someone broke in. He just kept saying that I was just part of his plan, and 'not to worry about Rin anymore'. Then he stabbed me a couple times and left."

"I'm really sorry Makoto. You'll be okay once the paramedics get here." He nods slightly, then points to the pocket knife beside him. "What?"

"You'll need to give that to the cops, so they can get that dudes' fingerprints."

"Yeah." I pick it up, then the door busts open. Several cops swarm in front of me with their guns drawn.

"DROP THE WEAPON!" I drop it and put my hands up.

"This isn't what it looks like, I swear! Makoto, tell them what happened!"

I look down to see Makoto unconscious.


End file.
